Retirement LOL Quotes 

Retirement LOL quotes

  •  There' is one thing I always wanted to do before I quit....retire - Groucho Marx
  •  I retired early for health reasons - my company was sick of me and I was sick of them - Author unknown
  •  My 'fun' retirement investments are diversified, blue lottery tickets, yellow lottery tickets, green lottery tickets, red lottery tickets - Glasbergen
  •  The worst thing about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time - Author unknown
  •  Ahhh retirement: fishing Yesterday, fishing Today, fishing tomorrow - Author unknown
  •  Retirement: when you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house - Author unknown
  •  He who laughs last about the boss' jokes probably isn't far from retirement - Author unknown
  •  When you retire you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you - Gene Perret
  •  A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job - Ella Harris
  •  When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband, but only half the income - Chi Chi Rodriguez
  •  The great thing about retirement is that every day is a Sunday - Gerry Hopman
  •  You want to be happy while you are alive, because you are a long time dead - Author unknown
  •  Retirement: no clock, no deadlines, no stress, no money - Author unknown
  •  I would be unstoppable, if I could get started - Author unknown
  •  The only socializing I do these days is in the doctor's and dentist's office - Gerry Hopman
  •  There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take time to think about it. For example, think how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt - Gerry Hopman
  •  Retired: just have to do what the voices in my wife's head tell me - Author unknown
  •  Retired - no alarm clock, no commute, no problem - Author unknown
  •  I'm retired - go around me! - Author unknown
  •  Retired! So go tell your problem to someone who cares - Author unknown
  •  Retired , but working part-time to spoil my dog - Author unknown
  •  Retired, I'm not interested in anyone with work problems - Author unknown
  •  Retired: Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of it - Author unknown
  •  I retired and am down to one boss - my wife - Author unknown
  •  I am retired, but not expired - Author unknown
  •  Retirement relives job stress - Author unknown
  •  WARNING! Retiree knows it all and has plenty of time to tell you everything - Author unknown
  •  Retired - And living happily ever after - Author unknown
  •  Retired - Leave the relaxing to me - Author unknown
  •  Someone told me to get a life, so I retired - Author unknown
  •  Retired - My specialty is doing nothing - Author unknown

My wife said, "What are you doing today?" I told her, "Nothing!" She said, "You did that yesterday." I told her, "I didn't finish!" 

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