Laughable Quotes

Laughable quotes is a collection from famous, and not-so-famous personalities, making funny observations about situations and the world around us.

Yogi Berra laughable quotes

- A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

- Baseball is ninety percent mental, the other half is physical. - I never said most of the things I said.

- I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.

- You give 100% in the first half of the game and if that's not enough, in the second half you give what's left.

- Always go to others' people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

- When you find a fork in the road - take it.

- You can observe a lot by just watching.

Dan Quayle laughable quotes - If you don't succeed, you run the risk of failure.

Dolly Parton laughable quotes - I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the Fire department four days to put the fire out.

Dean Martin laughable quotes - You're not drunk, if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Casey Stengl laughable quotes - All right, everyone line up alphabetically according to your height.

- Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up looking for one that does him in.

- I feel greatly honored to have a ballpark named after me, especially since I've been thrown out of so many.

Bob Hope laughable quotes - I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

- I grew up with six brothers, that's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

- I left England at the age of four when I found out I couldn't be King.

Bill Cosby laughable quotes - Don't worry about senility my grandfather used to say. When it hits you, you won't know it.

- I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon invaded Russia. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

- That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle the Vatican has overlooked.

George Burns laughable quotes - At my age flowers scare me.

- Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who will give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house.

- By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.

- First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally you forget to pull it down.

- A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.

- Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

George Carlin laughable quotes - I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don't have as many people believing it.

- Have you ever noticed in traffic, anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

Groucho Marx laughable quotes - Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

- Marry me and I'll never look at another horse.

- Either he is dead or my watch has stopped.

- I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Woody Allen laughable quotes - It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

- There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an Insurance Salesman?

- I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

W.C. Fields laughable quotes - I am free of all prejudices, I hate everyone equally.

Oscar Wilde laughable quotes - Laughter is only the beginning for a friendship, and it is the best ending for one

E.E.Manning laughable quotes - The most wasted day is one without laughter

Gerry Hopman laughable quotes/b> - A day without laughter is like a Big Mac without fries

William Rotsler - You cannot hols back a good laugh any more than the tide

Ethel Barrymore - You grow up the day you have your first yourself

Gerry Hopman - You cannot hold back a laugh anymore than you can hold back a sneeze

Mark Twain - The human race has only effective weapon, and that is laughter

Gerry Hopman - Laughter is to the mind and body what rain is to the earth

Kurt Vonnegut - Laughter and tears are responses to frustration....I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterwards

William Makepeace - A good laugh is like sunshine in the house

Thomas Carlyle - Laughter is one of the very privileges of reason, being confined to the human species

Gerry Hopman\ - When you walk - you walk, when you play - you play. When you laugh, do it with the whole body, it will be the best and healthiest exercise you can treat yourself with

Charles Schultz - If I were given the opportunity t9o present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each person to laugh at himself

William Arthur Ward - To make mistakes is human, to stumble is commonplace, to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity

Gerry Hopman - People suffer emotional constipation today. We have to learn to take our responsibilities seriously and take ourselves more lightly

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