LOL Parenting Quotes

A collection of LOL parenting quotes from very famous, famous, almost famous, and hardly famous people.

  • "You can't scare me, I have teenagers! - Author unknown
  • "Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected" - Red Buttons
  •  "Don't let the child within you become the adult without. Release those childlike feelings and enjoy the moment" - Gerry Hopman
  • "When you have teenagers, it's important to have a dog, so someone in the house is happy to see you" - Author unknown
  • "Never lose the joy of the child within you" - Gerry Hopman
  • "Most children threaten at time to run away from home.This is the only thing that keeps parents going" - Phyllis Diller
  • "When they are babies, you could eat them out of pure love. When they are teenagers, you're sorry you didn't do it" - Diane Hopman (my late mom)
  • "Raising children is part joy and part guerilla warfare" - Ed Asner
  • "The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part" - Gerry Hopman
  • "Having raised teenagers, I now understand why some species eat their young" Author unknown
  • "Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own" - Doug Larson
  • "There is a big difference between whiskey and kids. Whiskey improves with age" - Author unknown
  • "The mother of three unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she would have children again, if she had to do it over again. "Sure," she said, "But not the same ones" - Author unknown
  • " As grandparents, we get the pleasure of our grandchildren twice - when we see the headlights coming and again, when we see the taillights disappearing in the distance" - Gerry Hopman
  • "Raising teenagers is like trying to nail jello onto the wall" - Author unknown
  • "You're not a parent until you've flipped your child off behind his back at least once" - Author unknown
  • "Home is where you say anything you want, because nobody listens to you anyway" - Author unknown
  • "Of course I'm a good mother. They're still alive aren't they?" - Author unknown
  • " Having one child makes you a parent, having two makes you a referee. Having more than two makes you a bouncer" - Author unknown
  • "Teenagers, if you're tired of being harassed by unreasonable is the time for action! Move out and pay your own way while you still know everything!" - Author unknown
  • "Little children small headache. Big children big headache" - Author unknown
  • "Be nice to your children, for they will choose your rest home" - Author unknown
  • "When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they are finished, I climb out" - Erma Bombeck
  • "It's amazing how quickly kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower, or vacuum cleaner" - Ben Bergon
  • "Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist" - Michael Levine
  • Cleaning while the kids are in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating an oreo cookie" - Author unknown
  • Great parenting lies somewhere between "don't do that' and "Aw what the hell" - Author unknown

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