LOL Dog Humor

LOL Dog Humor is not just for the dog owner.

Dogs can make us laugh! Puppies learning about the world around them, getting into mischief, can provide endless joy and laughter.

Dogs can bring immediate smiles and enjoyment when taken into children's hospitals, nursing homes and senior establishments.

Their spontaneous friendly interaction provides not only entertainment, but helps to put people's problems on hold for the time they entertained by the four legged entertainers.

LOL Dog Humor quotes that will make you smile.

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out of the window! - Steve Bluestone

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizard

There are three faithful friends - an old wife, an old dog and ready money - Ben Franklin

The other day I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One of them says to the other, "How do you like that - 'Pay Toilets!' - Dave Starr

They say the dog is men's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered? - Larry Reeb

I went to an exclusive kennel club. It was very exclusive. There was a sign out front that said: 'No Dogs Allowed' - Phil Foster

He that lieth down with dogs shall rise up with flees - Ben Franklin

I have a great dog. She's half Lab, half Pit Bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me - Jim Celeste

Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls - Phyllis Diller

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog - Wendy Liebman

Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German Shepard that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say "Attack!" and he has one. All he does is piddle. He's nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks - Phyllis Diller

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself - Josh Billings

The more I see of men the more I like dogs - Madame de Stael

Dumb dog. I bought him a dog whistle. He won't use it - Author unknown

A guy wanted the vet to cut his dog's tail off. The vet asked why. Well my mother-in-law is visiting next month and I want to eliminate any possible indication that she is welcome - Author unknown

Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in - Mark Twain

When a man's dog turns against him, it is time for a wife to pack her trunk and go home to mama - Mark Twain

The great pleasure of a dog is that you make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, he will make a fool of himself too - Samuel Butler

The Pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor - Margot Kaufman

If a dog's prayer were answered, bones would rain from the sky - Old proverb

A dog is like an eternal Peter Pan, a child who never grows old and who therefore is always available to love and be loved - Aaron Katcher

My dog can bark like a Congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press secretary, and play dead like a receptionist when the phone rings - Gerald Solomon

Dogs never talk about themselves, but listen to you wine about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation - Jerome K. Jerome

Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human has to choose a relative - Mordecai Segal

Bulldogs are like toads that have been sat on - Author unknown

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass - Roger Dangerfield

Some dog I got. We call him Egypt, because in every room he leaves a pyramid - Roger Dangerfield

What a dog. His favorite bone is my arm - Roger Dangerfield

He's got the dog trained so that it only does it on newspapers. The trouble is, it does when he's reading the blasted things - Honore de Balzac

Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls - Phyllis Diller

When dogs leap on your bed, it's because they adore being with you. When cats leap onto your bed, it's because they adore your bed - Alisha Everett

When a man's best friend is his dog, the dog has a problem - Edward Abbey

If your dog thinks you're the greatest person in the world, don't seek a second opinion - Jim Febig

Breed a Bulldog with Shi-Tzu and you get a bullshitz - Good Dog Magazine

Dogs act exactly the way we would act if we had no shame - Cynthia Heimel

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that's why the dogs are so fast - Bob Hope

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is their best friend, which is kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog - Jay Leno

Life i9s like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes - Lewis Grizzard

The other day | saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One of them says to the other: "How do like that - Pay Toilets!" - Dave Starr

They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered? - Larry Reeb

I have been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog - Wendy Liebman

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