Back to Back Issues Page
The Humormeister's Forum, Issue #000135
January 31, 2019
Welcome to the 'Humormeister's Forum

Welcome to the 135th Humormeister's Forum edition

Hi There! Lots of good things happening. We have updated the website, removed some pages and added some new ones.

We now display display CBD oil on our web pages.

CBD oil has quickly become a well-known health supplement, believed to help treat many health conditions and ailments.

We therefore are of the opinion that CBD oil compliments the Health and Wellness theme of our website. In addition, several of our family have used CBD oils for health and wellness purposes and have enjoyed beneficial results.

Fun QuoteYour food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992, because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances - Department of Social Services, South Carolina

Humor/laughter QuoteKeep a sense of humor. It doesn't mean you have to tell jokes. If you can't think of anything, when you're my age, take off your clothes and walk in front of the mirror. I guarantee you'll laugh! - Art Linkletter

One minute laugh

Two elderly women were eating at a restaurant.

Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and said, "Mabel did you know that you've got a suppository in your ear?"

Mabel answered, "I have?" - "A suppository?

She pulls it out - stares at it and says, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this - now I know where my hearing aid is!"

Kids are funny

It was one of the worst days in my life. The washing machine broke down, the phone kept ringing steady. I had a migraine headache and all the mail that day consisted of bills to pay.

Close to breaking down completely, I lifted my one-year-old into his high chair and put my head on the chair tray in front of him and started to cry.

Without uttering a sound, my son took his pacifier out of his mouth and stuck it into mine.

Expressions from less than happy people

  • Well this was a total waste of make-up
  • Make yourself at home - clean my kitchen
  • Who are these kids anyway and why are they calling me Mom
  • Do I look like a freaking people person?
  • You! Off my planet!
  • Therapy is expensive poppin' bubble gum is cheap. You choose!
  • Bottomless pit of needs and wants
  • I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 31 years!
  • Whatever kind of look you were going for - you missed!
  • Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet
  • Here I am! Now what are your other 2 wishes?
  • How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
  • I just want revenge, Is that so wrong?/li>
  • You say bitch like it's a bad thing
  • Ambivalent? Well, yes and no!
  • I'm not tense, jsut terribly alert!

People take themselves far too seriously with negative effects to their health and their relationships with partners, family, co-workers and fiends,

No matter what your race, your gender, or your financial situation - Life is good when laughter is frequent!

If you can't laugh - smile! If you can't smile - fake it until you make it!

If you loose your zest for laughter - you loose your zest for life!

  • We need to socialize more!
  • We need to generate more humor and laughter in our lives!
  • We have to enjoy life instead of enduring it!

You can now follow me on:

Facebook -

Twitter -

Linked-in -

"If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!"

All or part of this newsletter may be reprinted with permission, provided that credit is given to the author and his website http://www.humor-

Back to Back Issues Page