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The Humormeister's Forum, Issue #00096
November 30, 2015

Welcome to the 96th Humormeister's Forum edition

I wish you and your families a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy new year filled with joy and laughter!

Keep a SMILE on your face - and a SONG in your heart! A SMILE is a sign of joy. A hug is a sign of LOVE. A LAUGH is a sign of HAPPINESS!

Funny quotes

I like my middle finger best, because it always sticks up for me - Author unknown

Humor/laughter quotes

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it - Ronald Reagan

The 1 Minute laugh

When the cop pulled me over, he said, "Your eyes are red, have you been drinking?"

I replied, Your eyes are glazed, have you been eating donuts?"

We laughed and laughed....I need bail money!

Kids are funny!

Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children.

One day, I entered the examination room to give four-year-old Lizzie her injection.

"NO,no,no,!" she screamed.

"Lizzie," scolded her mother, "That's not polite behavior!"

With that, the girl yelled even louder, "No, thank you! No thank you!"

Article of the month


Making plans to go to Midnight Mass, my wife and I decided to go early and get a front pew, so that the little ones could see and follow the service.

My wife had our two-year-old son on her lap facing her, and he was playing with her necklace. The priest, giving his homily got a little loud at one point.

Our two-year-old all of a sudden turned around and loudly said, "Oh shut up man!"

We were thoroughly embarrassed, however, the priest managed to smile and the congregation snickered realizing it came from an innocent youngster.

Do you have a funny story you would like to share? Send it to me along with your email address, and if we can use it, we'll send you a free "Kids say the Doggonest Things" ebook

  • We need to socialize more!
  • We need to generate more humor and laughter in our lives!
  • We have to enjoy life instead of enduring it!

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"If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!"

All or part of this newsletter may be reprinted with permission, provided that credit is given to the author and his website

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