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The Humormeister's Forum, Issue #00089
March 31, 2015
Welcome to the 89th Humormeister's Forum edition
We just got back from 31 days in beautiful South Portugal. We had a wonderful time, and had the pleasure to meet and talk to people from many different countries.
What we found was that smiles and laughter have no language barrier. They are truly international.
Think how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupeder than that. - George Carlin
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to end, some nut would be stupid enough to try and pass them. - Author Unknown
The 1 Minute laugh
A group of golfers, all in their 40's, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters, because the waitresses were young, good looking, had big breasts and wore short-shorts.
Ten years later, at age 50, the golfing buddies once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they meet at Hooters because the food and servic3e was good, they had many televisions to watch the games, and the beer selection was good.
Ten years later, at age 60, the team again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because there was plenty of parking, they would eat in peace, and it was good value for the money.
Ten years later, at age 70, they discusse4d where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.
Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters, because they had never been there before.
Kids are funny!
"I'm sure happy to see you!" The little boy said to his grandma when she arrived at his house.
"Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us." Grandma was curious. "What trick is that?"
"Well, I heard my dad tell my mom that he will climb the walls when you come to visit," the little boy replied.
Article of the month
Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true theys suin them cigarette companies fer causin people git cancer?"
"Yes, Bubba, sure is true," responded the lawyer.
"And now someone is suin the fast food restaurants fer makin 'em fat an cloggin their arteries with all them burgers and fries, is that true Mr. Lawyer?"
"Sure is Bubba!"
"And that lady sued McDonalds for millions when she was gittin that hot coffee she ordered?"
"And that football player sued that university when he gradiated and still couldn't read?"
"That's right," said the lawyer.
"But why are you asking?"
"Well, I was thinkin.....what I want to know is, kin I sue Budweiser fer all the ugly women I slept with?"
You can now follow me on:
Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/gerry.hopman
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/humorlaughter
Linked-in - http://ca.linked.com/in/humorlaughter
"If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!"
All or part of this newsletter may be reprinted with permission, provided that credit is given to the author and his website https://www.humor-laughter.com
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