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The Humormeister's Forum, Issue #00084
October 31, 2014

Welcome to the 84rd Humormeister's Forum edition

I bought a men's cologne at Costco recently, which was packaged in a hard plastic casing. I tried to open it with a letter opener, knife, and was considering a hammer, but was afraid that I would break the cologne bottle.

I finally succeeded in penetrating the casing with a sharp knife, and then used a larger kitchen knife to saw through the plastic and cut towards the cologne bottle with heavy duty kitchen scissors.

I got close to niche where the cologne bottle was tightly encased, but then found out that the carton the bottle was in was glued with the back of the carton to the plastic.

After almost cutting myself twice, I was able to pry the the box out with another knife.

Lesson learned. Beware of articles packed in hard plastic. They are meant to stay in there for life!

Funny quotes

An optimist is someone who falls off the 'Empire State Building' and after 50 floors shouts, "So far so good!"- Author unknown

Humor/laughter quotes

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak - Author unknown

The 1 Minute laugh

Daughter: "Dad, I'm in love with a boy who lives far away from me. I am in Australia and he lives in the UK. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, proposed to me on Skype and now we've had 2 months of relationship through Viber. Dad, I need your blessing and good wishes."

Father: "Wow! "Really!!" Then get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on and pay through Paypal. And if you get fed up with your husband....sell him on Ebay."

Kids are funny!

A little girl was sitting on her grandpa's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off her book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek.

She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered.

"God made me a long time ago." "Oh,' she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed honey," he said, "God made you just a few years ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God is getting better, isn't he?"

Feature article

Laughter has positive pay-offs

"Entertainment Weekly' magazine did a survey and found 82% of people watch movies because they want to laugh. Seven percent want to cry and 3 percent want to scream. This shows that laughter is by far the favorite entertainment objective.

If you read the 'Partners Wanted'- 'Relationship Wanted' ads and publications, you will find that more than 80% are looking for a partner with a sense of humor.

Fun is essential to our well-being and for feeling good. We should make it a point to regularly remind ourselves of all positive things it can do for us, as the hectic pace of life we live tends to make us forget.

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"If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!"

All or part of this newsletter may be reprinted with permission, provided that credit is given to the author and his website

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