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The Humormeister's Forum, Issue #00032
September 30, 2014

Welcome to the 83rd Humormeister's Forum edition

Had a wonderful time on our cruise from Amsterdam to Barcelona. This time I wore different pants and was able to keep my pants on going through customs.We met some great people and had some good laughs.

My wife picked up a cold from the person sitting next to her on the way home and she was kind enough to share it with me. It took us a week to get over the colds and the jet lag, but we are already planning our travels for next year.

Funny quotes

Marriage is a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore. - Author Unknown

Humor/laughter quotes

Laugh until your belly hurts and then laugh a little more - Author unknown

The 1 Minute laugh

A guy bought a new fridge, as the old one gave up the ghost. To get rid of his old fridge ( still working ), he put it in his front yard and put a sign on it saying 'Free to a good home. You want, you take it!'

For 3 days, the fridge sat there without any action. So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $ 50. The next day someone stole it!

Kids are funny!

A College Professor was doing a study testing the senses of 1st graders,using a bowl of lifesavers.

He gave all the kids the same kind of lifesaver, one at the time and asked the to identify them by color and flavor

The kids began to say:" red - cherry, yellow - lemon, green - lime, orange - orange."

Finally, the professor gave them all honey-flavored lifesavers. After sucking on them for a few moments, none of the kids could identify the taste.

"Well", the professor said, "I'll give you a hint, it's what your mom sometimes calls your dad."

One little girl looked up in horror, spit out her lifesaver and yelled, "Oh my God, They're assholes!!!!"

Feature article

Happiness quotes for reflection

Happiness quotes can help us to look at life in a different and positive way. They can help us to change our attitude whan feeling down or negative.

"Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life.: - Aristotle ( 322 - 384 BC

"Very little is needed to make a happy life." - Marcus Aurelius ( 121 - 180 AD )

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their mind to be." Abraham Lincoln ( 1809 - 1865 )

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live, if you aqre looking for meaning of life." Albert Camus ( 1913 - 1960 )

"Happiness is the state of consciousness, which proceeds from the achievement of one's values Ayn Rand ( 1905 - 1982 )

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"If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!"

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