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The Humormeister's Forum, Issue #00076
February 28, 2014

Welcome to the 76th Humormeister's Forum edition

It's been a long Winter and most of us are anxious and ready for Spring. Even getting away for a while for a Winter vacation does not make up for the happy signs of Spring.

Funny quotes

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste - Author unknown

Humor/laughter quotes

Prevent hardening of the attitude and laugh and joke yourself to happiness and wellness - Gerry Hopman

The 1 Minute laugh

A woman in the diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner.

The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell the club members how upset she was with her lack of willpower, and how she knew her husband would be disappointed.

Everyone commiserated, until someone asked what her husband said when he found out. She smiled. "He never found out.I made another cake and ate half!"

Kids are funny!

I was eating breakfast with my 10 year-old granddaughter and | asked her, what is tomorrow?

Without skipping a beat, she said, "It's President's Day!" I asked her, "What does President's Day mean?"

She replied, "President's Day is when the President steps out of his office, and if he sees his shadow, we have 4 more years of bullshit!"

You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out of your nose!

Feature article

Habits of a happily retired couple

1. Try something new and different

2. Take care of yourselves - exercise your body, exercise your mind, take care of your health

3. Get involved - family, friends, volunteers

4. Socialize - face to face, as well through the electronic media

5. Value your time - maintain a calendar. Since you now have more time at your disposal, it is tempting to put things off

6. Enjoy old hobbies and try out new ones

7. Stay in touch with family and fiends, share happy experiences, jokes.......

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"If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!"

All or part of this newsletter may be reprinted with permission, provided that credit is given to the author and his website

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