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The Humormeister's Forum, Issue #00075
February 28, 2014

Welcome to the 75th Humormeister's Forum edition

Now that the holidays are past us, we have to ease into our regular lfe routines. Whatever your New Year's resolutions, take on the new year with a smile in your heart and a chuckle on your face.

Things become so much easier when you keep your sense of humor and laugh about the curves that life throws you.

Funny quotes

Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you - Author unknown

Humor/laughter quotes

You need top smell the roses every once in a while, but you also need to tickle your 'funny bone' regularly, so it won't go numb on you - Gerry Hopman

The 1 Minute laugh

A woman was walking along the beach when she saw a bottle on the sand. She picked it up and pulled out the cork. Whoosh! A puff of smoke appeared.

"You have released me from my prison," the genie told her. "To show my thanks, I grant you three wishes. But take care, for with each wish your spouse will receive double of whatever you request."

"Why," the woman asked. "That bum left me for another woman."

"That's how it works," relied the genie.

Th woman shrugged and then asked for a milion dollars. There was a flash of light and a million dollars appeared at her feet. At the same time, in a far-off place, her wayward husband looked down to see twice the amount at his feet.

"And your second wish?"

"Genie, I want the world's most expensive diamond necklace." Another flash of light, and the woman was holding the precious jewellry. At same time her former husband was looking for a broker to sell his new treasure.

The woman then said, "Genie,is it really true that my former husband has 2 million dollars and more jewels than I have, and that he gets double what I wish for in my 3rd wish?"

The genie said, "that's true!"

"Ok genie, I'm ready for my last wish, scare me half to death!"

Kids are funny!

Seven year old children were asked what they thought of beer. Here are a few responses.

"I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier mom gets." - Tim, 7 years old

"My dad loves beer. Th emore he drinks, the better he dances. One time, he danced right into the pool." - Sarah, 7 years old

Feature article

Happiness tips for the year

Take a nature break Take in the beauty of a snowy winter scene, breathe the cold fresh air. Admire the green signs of Spring, the return of the birds and the newborn life.

Value relationships and the meaning of life Th most valuable things in lfe are health and relationships, whether with your spouse, family, good friends, or pets. The 3 things you need to have happiness in life are: someone or something to love, something that gives meaning to life, and something to look forward to.

The best prescription for happiness is to cultivate new friends and appreciating old ones, as well as value family.

Life is short. Do something you enjoy. Have focus and realistic attainable goals, but become not obsessed by your goals. As Astronaut Commander Hadfield said: "Don't measure success by what happens at the end of all the effort you've made. The real key is to find victory and joy in every single day."

Participate in life and use you talents No matter what your age is, there are opportunities to participate in things, even on a micro level. Use the talents that come natural to you. Some of us have artistic talents, while others' talents are in helping and volunteering their services to others.

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"If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!"

All or part of this newsletter may be reprinted with permission, provided that credit is given to the author and his website

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