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The Humormeister's Forum, Issue #00073
November 30, 2013

Welcome to the 73rd Humormeister's Forum edition

A 'Merry Christmas!' with loads of good spirit, great food, abundance of joy, and sharing with family and friends.

May the spirit of Christmas carry into the New Year and last you all year long.

Funny quotes

The Supreme Court has rules that they cannot have a nativity set in Washington D.C. This wasn't for religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. - Jay Leno

Humor/laughter quotes

I'd be much more into the office Christmas party if my coworkers weren't invited. - Author unknown

The 1 Minute laugh

Pastor Walker is walking down the street on Christmas Eve when he notices Larry, a small boy, trying to ring the doorbell of a house across the street.

However, Larry is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for a bit, Pastor Walker moves across the street to where Larry is struggling.

He walks up behind Larry and placing his hand on Larry's shoulder, leans over and presses the doorbell.

Bending down to Larry's eye level, Pastor Walker smiles and asks, "And now what?"

To which Larry replies with a big grin, "Now we run like hell!"

Kids are funny!

It was coming up to Christmas and Sammy asked his mom if he could have a new bike. She told him that the best idea would be to write to Santa Claus. But Sammy, having just played a vital role in the school nativity play said he would prefer to write to the baby Jesus. So his mom told him that would be fine.

But he wasn't very happy when he read the letter. So he decided to try again and this time he wrote: "Dear Jesus, I'm a good boy most of the time and would like a bike for Christmas."

He read it back and wasn't happy with that one either. He tried a third version: "Dear Jesus, I could be a good boy if I tried hard and especially if I had a new bike."

He read that one too, but he still wasn't satisfied. He decided to go out for a walk while he thought about a better approach.

After a few blocks, he passed a house with a small statue of the Virgin Mary in the front yard. He crept into the yard, stuffed the statue under his coat, hurried home and hid the statue under his bed.

Then he wrote his new letter: "Dear Jesus, if you want your mother again, you'd better send me a new bike."

Christmas article

Mirror Image

On Christmas Eve, Nathan thought it would be nice to buy his wife a little gift to give to her Christmas morning. Always short of money, he thought long and hard about what he could buy her.

Unable to decide, Nathan entered Debenhams and in the cosmetics section he asked the girl, How about some perfume?" She showed him a bottle with a price tag of $ 150. "Too expensive," muttered Nathan.

The saleslady returned with a smaller bottle priced at $ 85. Nathan groused, "still far too much!"

Growing rather annoyed at Nathan's cheapness, the saleslady brought out a tiny $ 10 bottle and showed it to him.

Nathan became really agitated, "What I mean," he whined, "is something I can look at that is really cheap." So the saleslady handed him a mirror.

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"If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!"

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