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The Humormeister's Forum, Issue #00058
August 31, 2012

Welcome to the 58th Humormeister's Forum edition

Keep people in you life that truly love you, motivate you, encourage you, inspire you, enhance you and make happy.

If you have people who do none of the above, let them go!

Many people have told me that they don't have the fun in life they used to have. To find out what your life's humor level is, take my 'Humor Quiz' at

Funny quotes Stewardess quote upon landing, "Please take all you belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we like to have!"

Humor/Laughter quote

"Laughter connects you with people . It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter! Laughter is a force for democracy!" - John Cleese

The 1 Minute Laugh

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than six seconds."

The next morning, Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough, there was a gift-wrapped box in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and brought the box into the house.

She opened the box and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Ed is still recovering in the nearby hospital.

Humor from our richest 'Humor Resource'......our kids'

Two little kids are in the hospital, lying on beds next to each other, outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little scared."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice-cream. It's a breeze!"

The second kid then asks, "What are you in for?" The first kid says, "A circumcision." The second says, "Whoa, Good luck, buddy, I had that done when I was born.... Couldn't walk for a year!"

Feature of the month

The Seven Habits of Highly Happy People

We all wish to be happy, and we pursue it in different ways; through family, friends, job/career satisfaction, money, religion/Higher Power beliefs. Some pursue their happiness choosing more damaging ways, such as alcohol, drugs, sex....

For most of us happiness is the goal, the purpose of life. Achieving it , however, can be elusive and may even be downright disappointing at times.

Although there is no blueprint of how to become happy, there are successful and proven habits that result in happiness.

1. Focus on the 'NOW,'instead of of letting the past dictate the future. Live in the 'NOW.' Enjoy the present. Learn to make the most of what is in front of you.

2. Schedule happiness into your life. If you don't plan your happy times, they will elude you by getting trapped on the treadmill of life.

3. Build and nurture, partner, family and friends relationships. This is something you can't leave to chance, it requires you to continuously work on.

4. Be an optimist! Optimistic, happy people see setbacks as temporary obstacles from which they quickly bounce back. According to a study by the Mayo Clinic, optimistic people are physically and emotionally healthier, more productive in their personal and work life, and tend to live longer.

5. Be generous to others. Generosity does not mean to sign over your paycheck to the needy. However, you can donate some of your time to a needy cause, or perhaps help a friend in need. It has been proven that being good to others can boost your sense of self-worth and give meaning and importance to your life.

6. Count your blessings! most of us don't realize the many blessings we enjoy. The good things in life are family, health, relationships with friends, the freedom we enjoy.....There are many good things in our lives.

7. Laugh more! See the humor in things instead of the negative. Look for humor in life. Associate with happy optimistic. Remember, the grouches get you down!

You can now follow me on

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  • Wanted! Your funny stories, funny experiences! Use the 'Contact page' on the website for your feedback.

    If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!

    All or part of this newsletter may be reprinted with permission, provided that credit is given to the author and his website

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