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The Humormeister's Forum, Issue #000117
June 30, 2017

Welcome to the 117th Humormeister's Forum edition

My wife and I were in a doctor's office waiting room recently. A lady with a walker asked us if we would like to read one of the local newspapers.

When she brought over the newspaper, she shared with us that she was 95 and lived in an apartment by herself, that she had written a book ( which sold out ), and that she paints having converted a bedroom to a painting studio.

She told us that she travels with her walker all over the city, using transfers when needed.

The way she looked and talked, she could have been 70 years old. We were most delighted to have met a woman, who at that age, lived and enjoyed life to the fullest and showed such an up-beat attitude and Joi de vive.

Funny quotes

You need to smell the roses once in a while, and you need to tickle your funny bone regularly, so it won't go numb on you - Gerry Hopman

Happiness quote

Happiness is within you. When you stop the chatter of the mind and expel your worries and fears, you discover that happiness surfaces from within you - Author unknown

The 1 Minute laugh " My 3 year-old daughter stuck out her hand and said, "Mommy, look at the fly I killed."

She was eating a juicy big pickle at the time, I thrust her contaminated hands under the faucet and washed them with antibacterial soap.

After sitting her down to finish her pickle, I asked with a touch of awe, "How did you kill that fly all by yourself?"

Between bites, she said, "I hit it with my pickle!"

Kids are funny!

I was driving my three young children one warm Summer evening, when a woman in a convertible driving up next to us stood up and waved. She was stark naked!

As I was trying to recover from the shock, I heard my 5 year-old son shout from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!

How to gauge your stress level

  • The bags under your eyes are almost large enough to carry your groceries
  • You can't remember the names of family members although they look vaguely familiar
  • You can travel without moving
  • Your blood pressure causes the machine at Walmart to break down
  • The sun is too loud!
  • You leave on vacation and forget one of your children
  • You want to smell the roses and now you can't remember why you stand in front of the rose bush
  • You can achieve a 'runner's high' by sitting up
  • Your blood pressure goes up because you computer boots up too slow
  • You feel irritated when a real person answers the phone and you have to talk to a person instead of a machine

If you have more than 3 of these symptoms - you suffer from extreme stress!

If you loose your zest for laughter - you loose your zest for life!

Life is good when laughter is frequent!

  • We need to socialize more!
  • We need to generate more humor and laughter in our lives!
  • We have to enjoy life instead of enduring it!

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"If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!"

All or part of this newsletter may be reprinted with permission, provided that credit is given to the author and his website

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