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The Humormeister's Forum, Issue #000116
May 29, 2017

Welcome to the 116th Humormeister's Forum edition

My wife and I eat breakfast, watch the morning news on TV, and again at supper time. Any other TV we watch is shown on Netflix.

We often remark on the negative and unhappy events in the news. Hardly ever is there something funny or uplifting.

We need more humor and laughter in our lives to keep us from becoming depressed and turned off with the world around us.

Try and smile more! See the 'funny' in people and daily situations. Life is much more pleasant and enjoyable when you adopt this attitude.

Funny quotes

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Be miserable and you're all alone - Author unknown

Happiness quote

Don't worry - be happy! Hum the tune and make it happen! - Gerry Hopman

The 1 Minute laugh

My boss and I took a job applicant to lunch, where we tried, with little success, to get him to open up about his experience and qualifications.

Frustrated, my boss set his salad aside and outlined a specific and complex situation to the applicant, then asked, "What would you do in this situation?"

The applicant hesitated, then, looking my boss straight in the eyes said, "Are you going to eat all those tomatoes?"

Kids are funny!

The kindergarten class had settled down with the kids working with their coloring books. Rudy came to the teachers desk and said, "I ain't got no crayons."

Rudy, the teacher said, "You mean, I don't have any crayons. You don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons. They don't have any crayons."

"Do you see what I am getting at?"

Not really, Rudy said, "What happened to all the crayons!"

You think you've got problems

How many of you have asked someone, "How are you," and hope the hell they don't answer?

You don't have enough time in this lifetime to listen to all their problems.

I'm sure that you all have met with what I call 'constipated personalities.'

- If you feel bad - they feel worse! - If you have headache - they have a migraine! - If you are stressed - they are burned out!

Sound familiar? These people suffer from what is called 'Rectal retinitus."

This happens when the nerve of the retina crosses with nerve in the rectum - giving you that crappy outlook in life.

Stay away from these kind of people, because they will suck you into their spiral of misery.

Look for happy people to associate with!

If you loose your zest for laughter - you loose your zest for life!

Life is good when laughter is frequent!

  • We need to socialize more!
  • We need to generate more humor and laughter in our lives!
  • We have to enjoy life instead of enduring it!

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"If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!"

All or part of this newsletter may be reprinted with permission, provided that credit is given to the author and his website

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