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The Humormeister's Forum, Issue #000111
December 31, 2016

Welcome to the 111th Humormeister's Forum edition

Hold the smile, let the tears go, keep the laughter, lose the pain, look for joy, and abandon the fear - 'Happy New Year!'

Funny quotes

I'm great at multi-tasking. I can waste time, be unproductive and procrastinate all at once - Author unknown

Happiness quote

Socialism only works in two places - 'Heaven', where they don't need it, and 'Hell' where they already have it - Ronald Reagan

The 1 Minute laugh

The bride was escorted down the aisle and she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said, "What are your golf clubs doing here?"

He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"

Kids are funny!

The last time I needed a 'humor tune-up,' I visited my two-year-old granddaughter. When I stepped into the living room, she was standing in the middle of the room - stark naked, wearing her mother's high heels and Summer hat, singing at the top of her voice, and at the same time applauding herself.

When was the last time you let your hair down, thoroughly enjoyed yourself, and appreciated yourself for doing it?

Sure signs that show you are stressed

  • You can achieve an athlete's high by just sitting up
  • You say the same sentence over and over without realizing you're doing it
  • You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an IV drip solution of espresso coffee
  • You can skip without a rope
  • It appears that people are speaking in code
  • You believe that if you concentrate hard - you can fly
  • You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee
  • Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition
  • You and reality file for divorce
  • Losing your mind was okay, but when the voices in your head quieted, it was like losing your best friend
  • You call the 'Time and Weather' number every day, because the person who supplies the information really understands you
  • You take the 'Don't Walk' traffic sign personally
  • You get lost on your way home....on your driveway
  • You listen to relaxation CD's on high speed

If you loose your zest for laughter - you loose your zest for life!

Life is good when laughter is frequent!

  • We need to socialize more!
  • We need to generate more humor and laughter in our lives!
  • We have to enjoy life instead of enduring it!

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"If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!"

All or part of this newsletter may be reprinted with permission, provided that credit is given to the author and his website

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