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The Humormeister's Forum, Issue #000102
May 31, 2016

Welcome to the 102nd Humormeister's Forum edition

I look around when I'm out and about and find people totally absorbed with their phones. So busy in fact, that they can barely avoid colliding with people around them.

They are all super serious and business-like and devoid of any smiles, or signs of awareness of what's going on around them.

We have become a very serious society where smiles are rare and have become totally reliant on socializing with our thumbs.

Funny quotes

I don't make jokes, I just watch the government report the facts - Will Rogers

Happiness quote

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all for essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat - Alex Levine

The 1 Minute laugh

A client bought a new home and her real estate agent sent flowers to mark the occasion. The flowers arrived at her home with a card saying "Rest in Peace."

The owner was dismayed and called the florist to complain. After he learned of the obvious mistake, the florist said, "Madam, I am really sorry for the mistake but rather than getting upset you should imagine this; somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying "Congratulations on your new home!"

Kids are funny!

Our 3 year-old daughter, when things did not go quite the way she thought they should be going to her liking, would pack her Barbie Doll case with a pair of panties, pajamas and some Barbie dolls.

She would walk out of the back door with the statement that she was leaving. After walking about 2 house distances down the street, she would come back and say to her mom, "Okay, I'll give you one more chance!"

How to avoid emotional constipation with laughter

Laughter is totally organic, naturally sweet, 100% wholesome, has no chemicals, no preservatives, no artificial additives, and you don't require batteries.

It's low in energy consumption and high in body energy gain, it's non-fattening, it's non-polluting, free of cholesterol, trans-fat and saturated fat, you don't have to join an expensive health club and wear ridiculous Spandex outfits, you can practice it 24 hours a day, and there's absolutely no cost.

  • We need to socialize more!
  • We need to generate more humor and laughter in our lives!
  • We have to enjoy life instead of enduring it!

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"If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!"

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