Hilarious Bumper Stickers

Hilarious bumper stickers are what I look for when driving, or when stuck in traffic. They can give you a good laugh, provide you with some down to earth wit, and give you a light-hearted view of life.

Improve your outlook on life one bumper sticker at a time!

If you like homemade gifts, which one of my kids would you like?

  • Driver carries no money - I'm married
  • Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself
  • All men are animals - some just make better pets
  • Born to be wild - got married instead
  • When the chips are down - the buffalo is empty
  • You can't scare me - I have kids
  • If you're not outraged - you're not paying attention
  • If at first you don't succeed - skydiving is not for you!
  • Smile if you're not wearing underwear!
  • If you must pick 2 evils - pick the one you never tried before
  • I fight poverty - I work!
  • The dog is my co-pilot.
  • I keep losing weight, but it keeps finding me.
  • If being a mom was easy - a man could do it!
  • Like wine - I have aged to perfection.
  • Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy beer!
  • I don't need your attitude. I have one of my own.
  • Wanted! Meaningful overnight relationship.
  • All men are idiots - I married their king.
  • IRS - We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
  • Life is cheap. It's the accessories that kill you!
  • Husband and dog missing. Reward for dog!
  • Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
  • My wife is a travel agent for guilt trips.
  • I still miss my husband, but my aim is getting better.

More Bumper stickers....

  • Money isn't everything, but it keeps the kids in touch.
  • We are born naked, wet and hungry and then things get worse.
  • I killed a six-pack just to watch it die!
  • Honk if anything falls off!
  • It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger!
  • Love is free - it's the diapers that are expensive.
  • People like you are the reason people have middle fingers.
  • Stop offenders. Don't re-elect them!
  • Born free. Taxed to death!
  • Ex-wife for sale - just take over payments
  • A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
  • Life is a box of chocolates - full of nuts!
  • So many men - so few aspirin!
  • Caution I can go from 0 to bitch in 2.5 seconds!
  • Unless you're a hemorhoid - get off my butt!
  • Some days you're the dog - some days you're the hydrant!
  • If the world didn't suck - we'd all fall off!
  • Idiot available due to having to downsize our village!
  • To you it's a six-pack. To me it's a support group.
  • On the back of a biker's jacket - if you can this, my woman just fell off
  • Housework is evil - it must be stopped!
  • Ex-lovers make excellent speed bumps!
  • The #1 cause for divorce is marriage.
  • Constipated people don't give a crap!
  • If we are what we eat - I'm fast, cheap and easy!
  • I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
  • Guys have feelings too, but who cares.....
  • Husband for sale - remote control included

Work-related bumper stickers......

  • Hard work never killed anyone - but why take a chance
  • I pretend to work - they pretend to pay me
  • Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
  • People say I lost it - in realty, I never had it
  • Everybody has the privilege to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege
  • The urge to scream tells me I must be at work
  • There aren't enough hours to do all the bitching I need to do
  • My boss is like a diaper, full of kakka and always on my butt
  • Never put off to tomorrow what you can avoid all together
  • For him to get an idea would require a surgical procedure
  • If you don't get caught - you didn't really do it
  • It's been Monday all week
  • It's time to move over and let the air out of your brain
  • If it isn't broken - fix it until it is
  • I can't fix crazy
  • I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don't want to see you every day

If you spot an hilarious bumper sticker, share it with me on the form below

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