Funny QuotesHumor shared is humor multiplied. I am sure that the people who formulated these quotes had exactly that in mind. Read and enjoy! The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone else to blame it on. - Robert Bloch A good belly laugh should register on the Richter scale. - Gerry Hopman Friendship is like peeing on yourself. Everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. - Author unknown Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. - Louis Hector Berlioz Humor is like pizza even when it's bad, it's still good. - Gerry Hopman It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. - Author unknown Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. - Author unknown Sadness, stress and tension come and go. Humor and laughter are forever. - Gerry Hopman I told my wife that a husband is like fine wine, he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Author unknown Girls are like phones. They love to be held, talked to, but if you press the wrong button, you'll be disconnected. - Author unknown We get older and wider instead of older and wiser. - Gerry Hopman Doing nothing is very hard to do....you never know when you're finished. - Leslie Neilsen The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning, you're on the job. Slappy White You can lead a man to congress, but you can't make him think. - Milton Berle My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one - Bob Hope Be good to yourself - interject some humor into your life. - Gerry Hopman When I was born I was so surprised, I didn't talk for a year and a half. - Gracie Allen I've got seven kids. The three words I hear most around my house are: "Hello," "Goodbye," and "I'm pregnant!." Dean Martin Seven days without humor makes one weak. - Author unknown You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither! - Drew Carey It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.. - Drew Carey Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day. - Mickey Rooney I think that men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have experienced pain and bought jewelery. Rita Rudner If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? - Author unknown I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why she treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonnete A man explained inflation to his wife thus: When we married you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There is more of you, but you're not worth as much. - Lord Barnett Some people get so rich, they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. - Rita Rudner |
