Funny ads

Humor is everywhere. Here are some humorous ads that were found in newspapers and other publications:

Free puppies! Half cocker spaniel - half sneaky neighbor's dog.

Cows that were never bred - also gay bull for sale!

German shepard dog - 85 pounds, neutered, speaks German, Free!

Wedding gown for sale - only worn once - by mistake!

Complete Encyclopedia Brittanica - 45 volumes, excellent condition, $ 300 or best offer. No longer needed - got married last weekend - wife knows everything!

Lost small poodle - Reward! Neutered like one of family!

Lost dog! Blind in one eye, missing right ear, tail missing, recently castrated. Answers to name of "Lucky!"

For sale! Antique desk, suitable for lady, with thick legs and large drawers.

Four poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lovers.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home too.

Wanted unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We don't tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Dog for sale! Eats everything and is fond of children.

The hotel has bowling alley, tennis courts, comfortable beds and other athletic facilities.

Sheer pantyhose. designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save - Limit one!

Men wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel!

Used cars! Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Wanted man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Illiterate? Write here for help!

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $ 15.

Christmas tag sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Church ads

Don't let worry kill you - let the church help!

Thursday night - potluck supper - prayer and medication to follow!

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Wednesday, the ladies liturgy will meet Mrs. Johnson and will sing 'Put me in my little bed' accompanied by the pastor.

Thursday 4pm, there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

Thursday 5pm there will be a meeting of the 'Little mother's club' All ladies wishing to be 'Little mothers' will meet the pastor in the study.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The service will close with 'Little drops of water.' One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.