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The Humormeister's Forum, Issue #00064
February 28, 2013

Welcome to the 64th Humormeister's Forum edition

My wife and I enjoyed a fabulous Winter break in Costa Rica. Great weather, nice resort, friendly people, interesting wildlife, especially the howler monkeys who provided great entertainment.

As we are inching closer to the end of Winter with expectations of Spring, greening of the environment, coloring from flowers and blossoms, it is enough to realize that the reward of Winter i.e. Spring is just around the corner.

Funny quotes "Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: "all of them make me laugh!" - W.H.Auden

Humor/laughter quotes "A sense of humor can help overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the unbearable." -, author unknown

The 1 Minute laugh

In a divorce case , a woman addressed the judge:"Your honor, I want to divorce my husband."

"But why?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."

The judge asked, "How do you know?" She replied, "Your honor, not a single child resembles him!"

Humor from our richest humor resource......our kids

One breezy Fall day, my husband and 4 year old son David were sitting on a park bench overlooking a lake. After a few minutes David asked, "Dad, can I go swimming?"

"Oh no David, it's much too cold to go swimming today," his father replied.

David considered it for a second, then answered, "I know dad, I'll wear my coat."

Feature article of the month

Here are some telephone survey responses to the question: "When are you having kids?"

  • Well, we keep on kissing and kissing and nothing happens
  • When they come with a return policy
  • On the 3rd Thursday, after the 3rd blue moon of a year divisible by seven!
  • If I wanted to hear the 'pitter-patter' of little feet, I'd put shoes on my cat
  • I don't breed well in captivity!
  • My wife and I prayed 20 years to have children and then we found that's not how to do it!
  • We used to have 2, but we traded them for a new car
  • I've had several children, but the government kept taking them , so I quit!
  • We don't know how. Can you come over and show us?
  • We are going to wait until we retire!

You can now follow me on

  • Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/gerry.hopman
  • Twitter - http://twitter.com/humorlaughter
  • Wanted! Your funny stories, funny experiences! Use the 'Contact page' on the website for your feedback.

    If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!

    All or part of this newsletter may be reprinted with permission, provided that credit is given to the author and his website http://www.humor-laughter.com

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