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The Humormeister's Forum, Issue #00062
December 31, 2012

Welcome to the 62nd Humormeister's Forum edition

My wish for you going into 2013 - <"As you slide down the bannister of life, I hope that all the splinters are pointed the other way"

Warm wishes for a joyful and healthy New Year!

Funny Quotes "You have to stay in shape. My grandmother , she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is" - Ellen DeGeneres

Humor/Laughter quotes

"Laughter is to the soul what rain is to the earth" - Gerry Hopman

The 1 Minute laugh

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while....then said,"You're A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K."

She asks.... "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot."

She smiled happily and said...."Oh, that's so lovely...."What about I,J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

Humor from our richest humor resource......our kids

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mum."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it? the mother asked. "Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And you are teaching them to say two plus, that son of a bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH IS FOUR."

Feature article of the month

Tips for a joyful life

1. Laugh more!

2. Now double that!

3. Keep a 'Laughter Journal' of what's funny around you - what makes you laugh - who makes you laugh - how much you laugh'

4. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Avoid the 'Negative People' in your life as much as possible.

5. Laugh at yourself - look at the silly things you do - relive embarrassing moments, they are hilarious when you reflect back on them.

6. Make up a 'HumorPick-me-upper kit' - include a clown nose, rubber chicken, whoopy cushion, funny glasses, funny hats. Keep them handy - when things get tough - use them!

7. View comedy movies, videos, listen to funny audio tapes, read funny books.

8. Phone a 'Humor Buddy' when things get you down.

9. Listen, watch kids having fun and laugh - laugh with them - we can learn a lot from them.

10. Liven up your work environment - have a 'Laugh Break' once in a while - don't suppress your urge to laugh - organize 'Fun Events.'

You can now follow me on

  • Facebook -
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  • Wanted! Your funny stories, funny experiences! Use the 'Contact page' on the website for your feedback.

    If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!

    All or part of this newsletter may be reprinted with permission, provided that credit is given to the author and his website

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