Welcome to the 40th Humormeister's Forum edition
A month into the new year! I trust that you have written down your 2011 goal to have more humor and laughter in your life. However, if you haven't, it is still not too late to do so.
Happiness motivational quote of the month
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love whar you are doing, you will be successful."
- Author unknown
"A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash."
- Author unknown
The 1 Minute Laugh
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for my benefits. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt." So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" And she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
My wife3 said, "You should have dropped your pants, you might have gotten disability benefist as well."
And that's when the fight started........
Humor from our richest 'Humor Resource'......our kids
The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive and bright as a new panny.
When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out the family wedding photo album, thinking the visual images would help.
One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance into the church, the wedding ceremony, the wedding reception etc.
"Now do you understand?" he asked. "I think so," his daughter said. "Is that when mommy came to work for us?"
Feature of the month
Rules for life
1. Never give yourself a haircut after 3 alcoholic beverages of nay kind.
2. You need only 2 tools: WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If t moves and it shouldn't, used duct tape.
3. The 5 most essential words for a healthy vital relatiuonship are: "I apologize" and "You are right."
4. Everyone seems normal, until you get to know them.
5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's nicer to eat crow while it's still; warm.
6. If someone says that you're too good for them - Believe it!
7. Learn to pick your battles. Ask yourself - Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?
8. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the washroom.
9. If you wake up breathing - congratulation! You have another chance!
10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad, or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.
11. Work is good, but it's not all important!
12. Be really nice to your kids. They may have to pick your nursing home later in life.
You can now follow me on
- Facebook - http://www.com/gerry.hopman
- Twitter - http://twitter/humorlaughter
- Linkedin - http://ca.linkedin.com/in/humorlaughter
Wanted! Your funny stories, funny experiences!
Use the 'Contact page' on the website for your feedback.
If you lose your zest for laughter - you lose your zest for life!
All or part of this newsletter may be reprinted with permission, provided that credit is given to the author and his website http://www.humor-laughter.com